Feedback can feel like a minefield. One wrong step, and boom.

From Confidence to Crisis — The Unraveling

I wasn't always fearless when it came to feedback. As a child, I thrived on the cheers and applause of the school talent show. Picture this: little Aïcha, reciting poetry with dramatic flair, channeling my inner Maya Angelou (okay, maybe with a few impromptu dance moves thrown in for good measure). The spotlight, the standing ovation – it was pure magic! Those early experiences taught me that positive feedback could fuel my confidence and inspire me to reach for my dreams.

Lost in Translation — Decoding the Corporate Feedback Code

But the corporate world? That was a whole different ball game. Suddenly, feedback felt less like a celebration and more like a critique. "You did this wrong," they'd say, leaving me feeling lost and confused. It was like they were speaking a foreign language – Corporate Feedback. Thankfully, my amazing friend Lily, my unofficial feedback translator, stepped in. She helped me understand that feedback wasn't just about criticism; it was about identifying blind spots, understanding expectations, and uncovering opportunities for growth.

One of the most valuable lessons Lily taught me was the power of asking clarifying questions. Instead of getting defensive or shutting down when faced with criticism, she encouraged me to dig deeper. "What specifically didn't work?", "Can you give me an example?", "What would success look like in this situation?" These simple questions transformed feedback from a judgment into a dialogue, allowing me to understand the feedback giver's perspective and identify concrete steps for improvement.

Positive feedback could fuel my confidence and inspire me to reach for my dreams.

Sparkle Dimmers and the Art of Self-Preservation

But let's be real, not all feedback comes from a place of genuine support. Sometimes, it's laced with hidden agendas, projections, or even plain old insecurity. I learned this the hard way when I encountered a manager who, let's just say, had a knack for dimming my sparkle. She was a master of disguise, all smiles on the surface, but underneath, insecurity reigned supreme. Second-guessing my work, claiming my ideas as her own – it was a masterclass in manipulation, straight out of Stacey Vanek Smith's "Machiavelli for Women."

But you know what? I learned to fight fire with fabulousness. Professionalism, excellence, and integrity – that was my secret weapon. I focused on delivering exceptional work, documenting my contributions, and building a strong network of allies. And when things got really tough, I didn't hesitate to seek support from mentors and trusted colleagues.

I learned to fight fire with fabulousness.

Turning Feedback into Fuel

So, what's the takeaway, sisters? Feedback, even the challenging kind, can be a powerful catalyst for growth. It's about learning to filter the noise, identify the nuggets of wisdom, and use those insights to level up your game. It's about embracing feedback not as a personal attack, but as an opportunity to refine your skills, strengthen your relationships, and ultimately, achieve your goals.

Stay tuned for Part 2, where we'll dive into the magical world of coaching!

"Rise together, shine brighter!"

Aïcha Dandjouma

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